Lovely Things

You know what’s not evil?  What does not bring me tears at night?  What doesn’t always consume my thoughts, but should?

 These things…

Sweet Hannah from the Children’s Home grabbing my hand and asking me to dance with her.

Little Lah swinging on the swing with me. 

My nephew Facetiming me.

A good book.

A true moment of worship through song.

A friend I met last year at Christmas who immediately chose to support me monthly in my mission.

The people who believe in me and encourage me. 

The friends and family who make the extra effort to talk to me even though it’s not always convenient.

My mom who bought me an electric blanket so I won’t be cold when I come home. 

My eldest niece dancing in the Nutcracker.

My youngest niece smiling for the first time.

When I hear Barang read an entire sentence when 6 months ago he couldn’t.

Knowing that some of our students heard the name of Jesus for the first time today.

Friends who are able to get pregnant after months of disappointment. 

That I was able to celebrate my Papaw’s last birthday, his 80^th, with him.

Big sisters who make you feel like a million bucks. 

Fireplaces, hazelnut coffee, and Mariah Carey's Christmas album.

An almost non-countable amount of fond memories of your childhood.

The smile of the Common Grounds staff every morning I walk in. 

That moment a child experiences when they finally understand what you’ve been trying to teach them.

That I have more grace and mercy than I could ever deserve. 

“… Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  Philippians 4:8

Airports

I’ve been seeing commercials (in Common Grounds, clearly not my home with not having TV!) for Korean Air and Bangkok Air, which excites me to know that I will be on one of those big fancy planes next week headed home.  (Although I dread the lock down of a 14 hour flight.)

The rush of airports can be fun.  And if you travel a lot, you’re probably pretty good at knowing where your favorite restaurants and shops are in the big cities you travel through.  In Seoul, I always enjoy the nice Smoothie King as my first reward as I head back into the developed world… or maybe as my last treat headed to the not so quite developed world.

Last January, when I made the big move to Cambodia, that moment in the Chattanooga airport was one I hope I NEVER have to experience again.  All I could see was fear, loneliness, uncertainty, and genuinely thinking “Why is NO one in my family getting on this airplane with me?  and what the @#$% am I doing?!”  I honestly felt as if I was walking to my death.

Then in May, I headed home for 2 weeks… absolutely THRILLED to be able to see all the people I love so much and I found joy in that long journey to and fro knowing that when I returned to Cambodia, I knew what to expect this time.

August rolled around and I flew home under such shocking, heavy circumstances with my grandfather’s death and yet again, here I sat on a plane thinking “What am I doing?  This can’t be real.  I am going home to a funeral.”  I remember hoping that the plane would do the “lights out” thing that they do on long flights so I could cry a little.

In one week I will get to feel the buzz of anticipation all over again.  Siem Reap to Seoul.  Seoul to Atlanta.  And Atlanta to HOME!  I know what I am going home to.  I know the weather and mountains.  I know the people and their accents.  I know the music and the decorations.  I know the comforts and the luxuries. 

For some people airports mean vacations… work trips… weddings… funerals… or the beginnings of a search in discovering oneself.

For me-airports mean adventure, excitement, and not discovering-but rather confirming who I am.  Confirming that I will do what is asked of me… I will obey… I will press through when times get tough… I will rest when I need to… I will create… I will listen… I will be honest… and I will be exactly who I am.

Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when people say, “Wow-you’re a missionary!  That takes a special person!”  In return, I just want to say, “No.  It just takes an obedient one.” 

May your next airport visit be as delightful as mine.

My theme song for the year

Lately

Here's what's been going on.

First of all, I've been a little reading machine lately!  Sometimes, for fun, I just browse Amazon and read book reviews of books that I want to read.  I am currently reading Great Expectations 

as well as The Picture of Dorian Gray.  Many of the classics are free on Kindle so I'm hoarding several now.  I'm also still reading a few Cambodian books and also one called Who Is My Muslim Neighbor? I need to be more informed.

My love for cooking is weighing heavily on me and I've been whippin' out all kinds of new recipes!  The items I need the most from home are always kitchen and cooking items.  It makes my life so much easier!  I made this Taco Lasagna

and it turned out awesome! That cheddar cheese on top is like gold here.  You can get the recipe HERE. (It was a little "tomatoey" for my taste, so I would tweak that next time.)  

Finally-I got some color in my hair.  This mane on my head is rather intense and thick so I wanted to jazz it up!  I got PURPLE!  It does NOT look like this...

but it looks more like this.

(just one streak though).  There is a Christian NGO here that takes girls out of working in brothels and teaches them how to do hair, so they will have a healthy and honorable income.  My hair looks great and I was able to support a ministry!  win win!

My "show" cycle is loads of entertainment.  I rotate between all of these: 

      

Who am I kiddng?  Friends is ALWAYS in the rotation.  And-I watched Downton Abbey, the first half of season 3, in like 2 days.  You are not ready for how great this season is!  I LOVE the emotions that come with Parenthood and I LOVE the brutal sarcasm of Dr. House.

I've also been trying to exercise regularly... well, at least lift weights and try to trim up the abs a lil bit.  For those of you that can't afford a gym or it's just not convenient, you should try "Fitness Blender" on youtube.

It's wonderful!  Work outs are timed and organized by muscle groups.  They have three different intensity levels and are creative in their exercises.  I just follow the videos on my little yoga mat here in my room.  Also, I'm growing to love yoga and Tara Stiles is also a great youtube channel to follow. 

I just started this Beth Moore Bible Study

about John and it's fantastic so far.  I don't always looooove studies like this, but this has been one of the best so far.  I actually feel like I'm learning NEW things.

Besides all of this nonsense, I'm still rockin' and rollin' here in the Reap land.  Teaching the kids... teaching the adults... making relationships... organizing new systems... sharing the Word... and hopefully being a little bit of Jesus for those around me.  

You know you live in Cambodia when...

A fun list for you that I hope you enjoy.   =)

You know you live in Cambodia when...

...you pull up a Youtube video and then go do a 10 min. task while it loads because the internet is so slow.  

...it's normal to dig ants or "weevils" out of your food... and just continue eating.

...taking 2 to 3 showers a day is normal.

... eating cheese is a luxury.

... you walk in the door and immediately wash your hands and spray off your dirty feet.

(See that little "bidet" sprayer to the right of the toilet?  They are beside every toilet in Cambodia, as opposed to toilet paper.  But I prefer to just use it on my feet.  =) )






... you use everything possible as a paper weight because fans blow it all away!  and if you don't use a fan, you will melt.  

... watching movies and shows on your laptop is the norm.

... you can talk on your cell phone while driving because it's tucked in your helmet.

... you adhere to ZERO driving rules.  like... for real.  ZERO.

...you start to speak broken English yourself.   "You no have money?  That ok.  I help."  

...this is normal to see during rainy season:

...you ignore all the really awesome clothes, food, crafts and projects on Pinterest because you can not get any of the supplies necessary to make it.

... you sweat inside.  Even under the air conditioner.

...these conversations or statements become normal:
1.  Where do you want to go for dinner tonight?  I don't know, just somewhere with aircon.

2.  Lady, you need tuk tuk?!?!  
Ahte!  Kenyom me-ehn moto! (Khmer for "NO, I have a moto!") 
ohhh, you speak Khmer!!!!

3.  I don't want to eat there, it's kind of expensive... like 4$ for a meal.

4. Being called "cha" instead of "teacher"... and hearing "finny" instead of "finished".

5. Whenever tuk tuk drivers come up to my house:  You live here?  How much you pay?

... and this last picture pretty much sums it up:

I witnessed my first electrical Cambodian fire last week.  I wonder how it started???  

I couldn't have said it better!

Although this is my personal blog, and I can write about whatever I want... there are some topics I often  do not dive into-one being my personal love life.  Oh.  I'm sorry... LACK of love life.  (said with a half smile and cocked head to the side)

BUT.  I could not resist re-posting what I am about to share.

I suppose it's the vulnerability I choose not to dive into via my blog and the gut-wrenching thought of turning the big 3-0 rather soon and not being married but needless to say... it can be a rough, single, rocky road sometimes and there aren't many who can really understand it.

Spare me your cliches and deep words because the truth is-it just hasn't happened and there's nothing fancy to it.

So I found this blog (girlandboystories.wordpress.com) where a single, 30 year old guy basically tells stories about his own single experience and others as well.  He writes poems, talk about dates, funny and not funny stuff, and it comes from a Christian perspective as well.

I must say-it's pretty clever and I find myself laughing a lot and TOTALLY agreeing with him.

So I'm stealing a passage from one of his posts where he lets you see what goes on inside his brain when he meets a girl.  And I thought girls were the only ones who had such thoughts!  This is exactly what occurs in my mind as well.  It's a tough life we lead.  Trust me-you don't want to be in my brain on some days.

“When you walked in to the room, I thought you were really cute and you were on my mind for the next week…so I went on facebook but I couldn’t remember your name but I did know your friend so I looked through all the profiles of their friends until I found you and then I went through all of your photos and likes so I could create an image of who I thought you were before we had even spoken more than two sentences but then I saw some of your “likes” and preferences so I didn’t think we were very compatible but after that I noticed that your religion said “Jesus Saves” so I thought maybe I’d give you a chance and then we talked some more later in the week and I decided that I wasn’t that interested any more and that I think I liked another girl more… but then we talked again later that same night and I thought, maybe I am interested in you so I decided to observe you for awhile but the more I observed, the more  I began to find reasons why it wasn’t going to work with us….but then I read a book about how we’re not perfect and marriages are to serve and not to be served and I thought, maybe we can work this out but then I decided I might like that other girl so I probably shouldn’t be talking to you at all anymore if I’m not going to pursue you even though I really do enjoy talking to you and being around you… but then I heard a sermon of what a godly wife was like and I thought that sounded more like you so I kind of wanted to ask you to coffee or yogurt but I only wanted to get to know you without it being awkward or leading you on so I made it a group event…but then you didn’t come so I wasn’t sure if you were interested or if I should be more forward so I got your number and sent  you a text message to see how long it would take you to respond and when it took you forever to respond, I knew you must not be interested, but then I also thought, maybe she is so full of the Lord that she doesn’t need a man in her life… and I really liked that so then I texted you again and you responded right away and I thought, yes!, she is so in to me….but maybe a bit too much, maybe she just really wants to be married? does she even like me? why is she responding so quickly? she doesn’t even know me!…. so then I sent you a message back… but not right away, but not too long either, in the 13-35 minute range so that you would know that yeah, I have things to do, but you’re pretty important too so I don’t have that many things… so I invited you to another group activity even though I really just wanted to just be with you – but… I ended up avoiding you the whole evening… so I wrote a message on your wall so you would know that you were important to me despite me avoiding you at our group activity for fear of people knowing I was in to you and asking me about us before we had even decided if we want us to be an “us”, but then I saw another guy writing on your wall and I got jealous so I thought maybe I did really really like you, but then we became like best friends so I ignored you for the next 3 weeks because I didn’t think I could have a girl who was a best friend especially if I wasn’t going to marry her… but then I listened to a teaching on how you should marry your best friend so I considered proposing to you that week but I got cold feet so I decided to send you another text so I could count how long it would take till you would respond this time…and I was thinking all the while that you might be “the one” for me but I couldn’t decide if you were “the one” or if I really wanted you to be “the one” or if you were “the one” God had chosen for me or if I had simply decided to make you “the one”  …so I couldn’t decide what was best…whether to not talk to you anymore or whether just to marry you… it’s a tough decision but nothing I can’t figure out before the first real date."

True story kids.  Truuuueeee story.  Aren't you glad you got married at 22 and now have 3 kids puking and pooping on you so you don't have to have this CHAOS in your mind?  =) 

( reminder that i took this post from another blog, just wanted to give him appropriate credit.)

Have A Look

A photo story of the last few weeks!

We visited the Knowles in Phnom Penh and they showed us a fun time, and we even went to a MINI amusement park.  Here are Jude and Matt rockin' out the little coaster.  

Aren't Ryan and Ciara the cutest?!  We went and had a nice meal at Le Meridian last weekend... and who can turn down a 5$ DESSERT buffet?!  NOT US!

My tuk tuk driver got creative.  hehee... he's "hanging" the poncho on his mirrors to block the rain.  Never a dull moment here.

Matt and his serious face.  And his.... spoon?  Do you see something "special" about this spoon?  A little happiness for you while you stir your tea.

We had a meal and game night a few weeks ago and it was LOADS of fun.  I must say-cooking for a large group here was a little different than anticipated and I got too far in over my head... but it still turned out well.  This is a new dessert recipe I found on Pinterest and it was perfection.  Click HERE for the recipe.

We went to "Beaticello" last Saturday night to hear a local, famous Swiss Dr. perform music on his cello and also tell us about the Kantha Bopha hospitals in Cambodia.  Very fascinating and hundreds of children are being saved everyday.  Read about it HERE.  In his weekly Saturday night performances, he raises on average 6 million dollars every year through private donations.

(the gals before the performance: CiCi, Fiona, Catie, Rachel, and myself)

Dr. Beat Richner

Sunday we had a fellowship at our house and it was so wonderful.  Music, sharing, talking, eating.  And of course some prayer.  =)  

I am thankful that I am realizing NOW, not months down the road, what a rich life I am able to live here in Siem Reap.  Rich with people, opportunity, changes, and most importantly-grace and mercy everyday.

2012 Christianity

I’ve been having a little bit of an uncomfortable feeling lately amidst my social media.  I would love some feedback also.

Throughout my Facebook and twitter feed-which yes, ultimately I have chosen so it’s my fault-I see this trend.  It’s probably not a surprise to you that I have a lot of friends in ministry and that I enjoying reading, watching, and listening to sermons, and new songs, and inspiring blogs etc. 

But it seems I’m just overloaded with the “trendiness” of Christianity.  As if we’re all trying to reach this invisible pinnacle of Christian stardom and be the new Francis Chan. 

I think it’s always been there, but maybe social media has just brought it to light?  I see people posting about their youth groups… and their contests…. and “be sure to bring your friends!”… and cool, new quotes about being love… and their conferences that have cool videos… and Catalyst and worship music… obsession with Apple products and… well you get the idea.

And how can we forget the typical “Christian fashion” of skinny jeans, Toms, retro glasses, (which I have to admit, I totally love ALL of those by the way) and maybe even a new, small obsession with tattoos and growing manly beards… we ARE liberated from the Old Testament laws!!!

And of course, you haven’t really “made it” unless: A) you are man-who has written a book and pastors a church plant that has grown to AT LEAST 1 MILLION PEOPLE IN JUST 2 YEARS! or B) you are a female-who has a blog, must have 4 biological children, 1 adopted and your husband is a pastor of one of the aforementioned churches.

To not totallyyyyy head down the cynical tube- I realize that some of it’s real.  And legit.  And people are changing the world.  And people are being disciples.  And people are servants and full of humility. 

But this desire for outward “sameness” is only creating a whole new box to fit in. 

You know why I noticed it?  Because I’ve fallen for it too.  And I live in Timbuktu.  It’s not that I have a problem with having nice things, being fashionable, and attending a life-changing conference.  Or having a blog (duh) and desiring to write a book.  But-I fear it can turn into a new idol for some of us.  It could really end up being the most important thing(s) and as Christians we ultimately know that’s not what we want. 

A lot of that has been stripped from me.  No skinny jeans for this girl in 110 degree weather.  No trendy glasses for me because they would roll off when the sweat starts pouring.  Can’t have cool hair because I wear a helmet everyday.  Don’t attend a big, trendy church because... well... there aren't any here.  And… well… actually the Apple products have been flawless for me so I really just need to be thankful for those.  But you get the idea.

I’m not saying this AT ALL to make myself look better.  But rather, ask yourself what I had to face about 6 months ago.  When it’s all gone and taken away, who are you?  And most importantly… who are you really serving?

Also, I’ve decided to take a little break from these social media outlets until I can really figure out how to handle it all.  oh.  And I’m tired of election crap.