Bread and Wine, Part 1

What an honor it was to receive Shauna Niequist's new book Bread and Wine early so I can review it!  It comes out in April and is different than her previous two writings because it is interspersed with recipes.

Let me just say, I truly love her writing and style.  It totally hits home with me.  It's normal and relatable yet deep enough to hit parts of your inner self that you feel you have been wanting to say all along.  I find myself saying "Yes!  Thank you!"  in the midst of reading her books because she voices what so many of us are struggling to find the words for.

This is her third book and I was particularly looking forward to reading it because of how much it hits home for me and my close group of friends.  Bread and Wine is about the table... the food we eat... and the moments we share in those settings.  How it's important to have community and live this life together, not winging it all on our own.

Soon after college, a small group of friends decided to start every other week dinners.  The day of the week has shifted a bit due to jobs etc. but we have pressed on to keep a consistent schedule through thick and thin.  People have come and gone, mainly due to moving towns etc., but the core has stayed throughout the past 7 years.  Yea.  I'm pretty sure it's been 7 years!  Wow!

Children have been added, houses have changed, but nonetheless every other Thursday we rotate cooking and host the whole group.  Sometimes, when it gets particularly busy, we head out to the yummiest Mexican restaurant or favorite local place, Jenkins Deli.  Even the hubbies come with the babies if the wives have a commitment.  Since I'm the only one not married, we joke sometimes about who will fill that "spot" with me because clearly, they will have to be accepted by the whole crew.

So when Shauna talks about the table and all it holds, it brings tears to my eyes because that's us!  This is one of my most favorite quotes from the book:

“It’s those five faces around the table that keep me sane, that keep me safe, that protect me from the pressures and arrows and land mines of daily life. And it isn’t because we do all the same things, live all the same ways, believe all the same things. We are single and married, liberal and conservative, runners and adamant nonathletes, mothers and not. Those of us who are mothers do 
it differently, from cry-it-out to family bed, from stay-at-home to full-time work. Around this table we’ve mourned the loss of eight pregnancies, and even as I write those words, it seems a cruel and unusual number.

We’ve gone to funerals and birthday parties together, reported bad test results, gotten advice about sick kids, made trips to
 the ER, walked together through postpartum depression. We’ve visited each other’s babies in the hospital, and we’ve brought over meals and sleepers and blankets. We’ve talked about faith and fear and fighting with our husbands, sleeping through the night and anxiety and how to ask for help when we need it.”        -p. 30

The babies... the challenges... the tears... the changes... the parenting... the frustrations... we've talked about it all.  I remember sitting at one of our dinners when I told everyone I was moving to Cambodia and how all I received was support and love from them all.  Sometimes us girls will go in the back room while a new mommy has to nurse and we talk about all the nonsense girly things while 3 year old E jumps naked on the bed dancing Gangnam Style.  I mean-there's never a dull moment.

Another quote from the book has also proven to be true with these friends:

“We don’t learn to love each other well in the easy moments. Anyone is good company at a cocktail party. But love is born when we misunderstand one another and make it right, when we cry
 in the kitchen, when we show up uninvited with magazines and granola bars, in an effort to say, I love you.”  -p. 132

So true.  It's in the ugly and not so fun moments where we gain that ground with one another.  

I have many other friends who provide this type of support as well, and of course, we too connect around the table.  Sometimes my family makes fun of me and how many "close" friends I have, but I value loyalty in friendship and try to provide it as well.  

Bread and Wine lifts your spirits and reminds you that you're not the only one out there doing what you're doing.  And even though deep down we know that, we must provide and work for the atmosphere to remind us of that.  Work the for table and all the affirmations it holds.    

(Bread and Wine: Part 2, to come.  I will focus on the recipes I cooked for our book club night and maybe throw in a few more quotes from the book!) 

Shauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live outside Chicago with their sons, Henry and Mac. Shauna writes about the beautiful and broken moments of everyday life--friendship, family, faith, food, marriage, love, babies, books, celebration, heartache, and all the other things that shape us, delight us, and reveal to us the heart of God.

Aren't they beautiful?

Well, in case you haven't heard, I had a dear friend donate a fantastic SLR camera to mwah!  It's a Canon 50D, which probably means something fancy to you photographers out there, but to me-it just takes really pretty pictures without a lot of work!

I am by NO means even good at photography nor do I EVER intend to do something serious with it, but it sure is fun to photograph these pretty people here in Cambodia and allow others to see PCL beautifully.

Also, I am just now learning how to tweak and edit them so bear with me as I have l little fun.

Pout much?  This girl is a mess.

I can barely handle the beauty of this picture!

How perfect are these three?!  These are our widows, or "MyMys", that live at our Home.

I'm baaaaaack!

I've missed these kids!

A catch up blog for you… some inconsistent ramblings.

I arrived in Cambodia the evening of March 6 (morning for you American time zone folks) and what a joy it was to step off the plane with the smell of Asia in my nostrils and the humidity slappin’ me in the face!  And I was still wearing a sweatshirt!

I have somewhat tackled the jetlag battle better than previous times before.  For some reason I feel like that is a grand accomplishment and I should receive a piece of flare or something for my suitcase. 

I have found great comfort in returning to this sticky, dirty land.  I’m actually a little surprised by it.  I mean, it only took me a year, but I find security at my home in TN and now I feel the same in Southeast Asia.  All I have to say to that is…. THANK YA JESUS! 

My creative writing was completely stifled in the States and that was frustrating to me.  I’m going to have to dig out the cause of that, but I’m hoping my return to Cambodia will liven my spirits a bit and allow me to continue blogging and sifting through the ups and downs of this journey. 

Home was wonderful, refreshing, comforting, helpful, and re-energizing:  all the things it was supposed to be.  Here’s to year 2 and the journey ahead!  Cheers!

the Great Time Sucker

This whole moving and visiting and traveling back and forth business between countries sure can do a number on ya!

Transplanting to a third world country will reveal so many things about yourself, but you might not ever think about how all of those new findings will affect you once you return to the land you know the best.

I’ve been home 7 weeks now (FYI, I return to Cambodia on March 5 for all of 2013) and am past the Holidays to get back in the groove of “regular” life for just a bit.  And I must say-I’m learning even more new lessons here, back at home!

Ok-seriously-where the heck does all of our time go?  America is the great "time sucker".  I mean… is there really that much stuff grabbing my attention?  What am I doing half the time?!?!?!  It’s insane how I am already fighting for the time that I found so easily in Cambodia.

BUT-the one thing I don’t feel bad about, is putting time towards PEOPLE.  And after tracking many days, I do believe most of my time is being put into relationships.  But, what we are doing with those relationships and how we are behaving is the most important part.   I am putting great effort into making those moments count. 

Here is all the other nonsense that I have detected is sucking my time…

uhhh, pumping gas.  Seriously?  It takes FOREVER.  What happened to my $3.50 service guy who does it in like 25 seconds?  And… pumping gas in the COLD.  Major thumbs down.

Driving!  Siem Reap, on a moto means you can zip in and out of everywhere in no time flat.  It’s fantastic.  Here, I actually have to stop at stop signs and red lights and other really important stuff.  

Random, pointless TV shows.  Ok-I do watch shows and movies in the Bode, but that’s pretty much because that’s all there is to do for leisure.  But there is so much junk on TV that it can totally suck you in-and I am proud to say, I have not caved and watched that much.  Not even The Bachelor.  whoah, kids.  I’m growing up.

Social Media.  I just went ahead and took Facebook and Twitter off my phone because I have GOT to be ok with not always looking at it.  I honestly believe it is our country’s most obvious idol and it could possibly be the death of us in some capacity.  (That’s a whole separate blog!)

Getting ready.  Yup.  I said it.  The shallowness of girliness has consumed me yet again and I just find that the older you get, the more you think you have to hide and cover up and create a façade that you really are skinny and haven’t lost your awesome metabolism of when you were 18 years old.  The high top ponytail makes sense in 100 degree weather but I just can’t do it everyday here.   

You know what’s crazy?  A few months ago, some of this stuff was all that I was longing for.  And here I am, in the midst of it and am reminded-yet again-none of this junk matters and none of it makes me who I am.  Ugh.  How many times will I have to learn this lesson?  

Always Learning

We are all called to be life long learners, right?   That’s a hot phrase in education because ultimately, that is what we as teachers are supposed to encourage our students to be.   So as far as I am concerned, as long as I keep learning about… well… anything, surely I can claim that title-right?

I was happy to take a break from the computer over the past few weeks while I traveled back to America and had Christmas vacation with the family.  So here is me easing back into the blogging world…

What I have learned in the past month-

Stomach jet lag is almost worse than sleep jet lag!

People are IDIOTS on Facebook.  I mean downright, with no sense, terribly offensive, judgmental, and pure ignorant.

When you travel to high elevations, drink a lot of water.  And cover those pretty lips with chap stick.  Whew!  ‘bout killed me!

 Doctors have unbelievably difficult, exhausting schedules and no amount of money makes that any easier to deal with, so you should still have sympathy for them.  =) 

People really do make polygamy jokes in Salt Lake City.

If you’re learning to ski, practice a few things on FLAT land first… rather than at the top of a slope.  i.e. how to stand up once you fall.  Because you WILL fall.

 I drink wayyyyy too much caffeine.

If I see “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” ONE MORE TIME!!!!  I SWEAR… 

Don’t even try to attempt to put two little 3 year old boy cousins to bed in the same room.  It turns into a “monkeys jumping on the bed” party.  Joyous and precious to hear, but not prime for sleep time.

If you do a credit check and they have bad credit, don’t let them rent your house. 

And lastly… the over arching, most important lesson… Everyone has seasons that are difficult.  Some seasons last weeks, months, or even years.  Just because someone is not living the exact same “life scenario” as you, doesn’t mean their life is necessarily any easier.  People with kids have tough lives.  People without kids have tough lives.  People with money have tough lives.  People without money have tough lives.  People with jobs have tough lives.  People without jobs have tough lives.  People who believe in Jesus have tough lives.  People who do not people in Jesus have tough lives.   So my life might be different from yours-but I can still go through difficulties just like you.

So be patient with people.  Listen to people.  What if their rough season is something you can help them through?  Don’t always feel the need to cast your negativity upon someone else and make them feel guilty just because their life isn’t as hard as yours.  Celebrate.  Rejoice.  Be positive.  And pray for better days. 

I hope when people see me coming they know I will bring grace, mercy, patience, and joy into their lives… not the words of negativity and hate.  Biblically our tongues are considered weapons and can even start fires.  Watch out for those fires you might start.