I wish I had a rewind, play button on my prayers. They get so redundant sometimes. It's the same 'ole same 'ole.... "Lord, I'm tired.... I'm exhausted... I SUCKED again today as a teacher.... my kids at school probably hate me. Help me start over again tomorrow."
and then tomorrow... I'll need to rewind and say it all again.
Some rewinds are good.... like continuing to pray for people I Love, or chances for God to show his unbelievable power but continuing to have to pray over and over and over again for Me to do better... and for Me to not get overwhelmed.... or for Me to be more patient with my students... or for Me to not get stressed out.
I'm just over it. O-V-E-R I-T.
I'm also over the fact that all I ever have the idea to write about on my blog is that I'm annoyed, tired, and frustrated. Dear heavens Abby, is there not anything else?!?!? But honestly, I never know what to do to feel better so I just get on here and ramble.
I DO have good things going on, they just feel so small. And I'm tired. I'm tired on the inside. I just want someone else to tell me they're tired too. Please tell me EVERYONE feels like this? I REALLLLLYYYYYY hope so. I literally feel like a hamster in a wheel. Just running in the same place getting nowhere but all the while wearing myself out.
I have no idea what else to do but to just push that rewind button again tonight and let it play out. And I hope I can make it through 8 hours tomorrow and maybe miraculously not have to push that rewind button again for grace and mercy. I guess that song is true: "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." I shall claim my forever sinking status today.
1 comment:
We all feel like this at times...sometimes stronger than at other times, but you are not alone. Remember my rant post a few weeks back? My mom asked me if I needed pills after that post! :) I don't feel like that at all today..it just comes in spurts & it feels good to write it out when it does. It's ok to feel overwhelmed at times & keep in mind that it won't last forever. Want to quit our jobs and enroll at Lee tomorrow? I'm game :)
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