Have you ever felt so unsettled that it's like your insides are itching and you want something to stick down your throat to scratch the itchy little feelings you have and ease the uncomfortableness?
That's how I feel right now. I can't put my finger on it. It's just... uncomfortable. It's me being unsettled about every thought and decision. Maybe it's this Colonial Intimacies book I'm reading for my masters that's gotten me all in knots? Or maybe it's the holidays coming up that make me nervous? Or maybe it's that I wish the whole month of October would fall off into a sea of abyss and I can forget that any of it happened? I'm just uncomfortable.
I think sometimes being uncomfortable is a good thing and can be linked to some profound, God calling where we are supposed to get out of our comfort zones and do something magnificent for the Lord! But.... sadly.... this is not the same feeling. I'm just uncomfortable with everything else and feel rather lost in every decision I've made. I can honestly say I feel like I have no clue as to what I'm doing right now. Like seriously... everyday... not a clue. The morning is a routine... the day is a routine... and I'm just an itchy little robot repeating the steps each day.
A few years ago I remember going to hear a friend speak, (MH), and he said something that I have never forgotten. Sometimes we go through difficult times for the Lord to allow us to grow spiritually... but then sometimes we go through those times just to see if we'll hold on to Him. I do believe I'm just going to hold on right now... and hope my itchiness will pass.
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