What will people think of me?
What will upset me?
What hurts my feelings?
Who can I trust?
What can I eat? (haha... like cafeteria food!)
Will everyone point out the stuff I already don't like about myself?
I wonder if people will like me...
I wonder if I'll make friends...
Maybe I'm full of skepticism or maybe I'm completely insecure? I don't really know, but it's weird to have these thoughts creep back in. Sometimes I wonder if the people who have been my friends for so long have gotten used to my weaknesses (and vice versa) and have learned to just accept them. Like it's something not even worth discussing or arguing about or hoping to change... it is what it is and being friends mean you go through it all even with the annoying traits we all hold. It's weird to think I'm "testing out" new people. Ugly traits rare their head when confronted with new situations, new people, and most definitely a BRAND NEW culture.
And honestly, I'm just mainly concerned about my own... not really anybody else's ugly traits. So maybe they're thinking the same thing?
I feel like the new girl at school who is discovering her niche and definitely learning who she can or can not discuss certain things with. Surely we all have people in our lives who we do this with? Not like we're keeping secrets but just learning who relates to what in different ways.
This makes me thankful for the old and new friends both:
Thankful for the OLD... because they know the ins and outs... the good and bad... what ticks me off and what makes me laugh... and they know the depths of my heart.
Thankful for the NEW... because they appreciate things about me I might have forgotten exist.... they laugh at me because they're not used to my ridiculous outbursts of dancing or singing... and allowing me to see through new relationships that I still have many imperfect characteristics.
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