Rest

I prepared myself for the worst in knowing that the Lord would turn me upside down and completely inside out on this journey overseas. I was ready to face it all, look in the mirror, and evaluate this person that I’ve become. I’m ok with it. I’m ready. But oddly enough, not everything about me has been turned upside down… yet. Many things I already knew about myself while others have resurfaced. And some things, surprisingly enough, have not quite thrown me for a loop.

We had our small group/Bible study at our house tonight and we were focusing on “rest” and what that means and looks like spiritually. And a sidenote… I know some people cheapen small groups or treat them like counseling sessions but I must say, it was very Christ centered and scripture focused which I greatly appreciated.

Anyways… a new friend, who I barely know, absolutely 100%, nailed it on the head perfectly as to what I have been feeling since I’ve moved here and what she interprets her rest to be.

In a nutshell:

Stop the people pleasing. Stop the saying yes all the time. Stop being superwoman. Just because you’re a “missionary” doesn’t mean you have to run yourself into the ground. Slash and burn the Type A/I'm a queen at multitasking! mentality. A full schedule isn’t always good or even best. Not being busy 24/7 does not equal laziness. Be present. Love it now. Know that He is good.

I realized today that after laughing with my Khmer students as I watched them play a game and giggle throughout…. I was totally present. Totally fulfilled. And totally at rest. There is no greater place to be than in obedience to Him. I have no ladder to climb… no corporate America to fight… and no expectation of others. I am doing what he wants me to do and in that I find ultimate, complete… rest. What else could I possibly need or want? Don't interpret this as me not "being busy" because there is plenty to do. But so much hinges on perspective and purpose and attitude.

Am I going to go back to the States after my time here and be distracted again by the expectations and hustle and bustle of all that is normal and forget what it means to rest? I know that rest is not only available in Cambodia (duh!), but what is it going to look like for me now? Wherever I am?

I don’t know. All I know is that I recognize this rest from God and I aspire to never lose it.

You see rest does not always have to do with taking a nap or sitting in front of the TV. It coincides with peace… patience… gentleness… and the feeling of “there is no where else I’d rather be or anything else I should be doing at this moment but exactly this.”

That. Is my rest.

They will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint